Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Impress Your Valentine with Unique Gifts on the Valentine’s Day

Sprinkle some love and happiness in your love relationship on this Valentine’s Day with unique and amazing valentine gifts. The gift ideas and gift items are best to treat your beloved in a unique way or give vent to your feelings. As it is a special day so you must be savvy while picking a valentine gift.How do you admire your beloved on this Valentine’s Day? Of course, you are not going to say that she is the most beautiful women on earth you have ever seen as it has less impact. The virtual and impressive way is to take her to lunch or dinner. Plan to take her in a beautiful place where you can spend wonderful moments. For example: the short breaks sets as a perfect romantic gift idea. The distinguished features of this short break let you enjoy savour lunch or dinner on a majestic cruise over the famous river Thames. Both of you can dine meal made by the expert chefs and enjoy the views of the fascinating London attractions. This valentine gift is sure to make the moments last forever.If you want to express your feeling for the first time to a lady then valentine gifts are ideal. A valentine gift is imaginative and rich in design that gives you the best scope to express your feelings or win a lady’s heart. The assortment of Valentine’s Day gifts consists of both traditional and contemporary gift ideas. You can even find gift items that give you the privilege to personalise the recipient’s name on it or imprint your personal message. You can mark words of appreciation on the gift such as: ”My dear beloved”, “Just for You” likewise to make it more attractive. Message in a Bottle or Teddy in a Tin are such loyal messengers that carry your messages in a loving manner. Both the gifts are displayed in an elegant way. You can make the recipient feel elevated and how important they are in your life. Valentine gifts carry symbolic significance and reflect the promises of a happy love life. If you are still confused what to pick for your beloved then take into account the recipient likes. With the inflation hitting our lives that best way to obtain a gift at competitive rate is by comparing the different offers and features of the gift ideas. But if you have made up your mind to surprise her with an exceptional and high quality gift then never forget that “quality never comes cheap”.
Sprinkle some love and happiness in your love relationship on this Valentine’s Day with unique and amazing valentine gifts. The gift ideas and gift items are best to treat your beloved in a unique way or give vent to your feelings. As it is a special day so you must be savvy while picking a valentine gift.How do you admire your beloved on this Valentine’s Day? Of course, you are not going to say that she is the most beautiful women on earth you have ever seen as it has less impact. The virtual and impressive way is to take her to lunch or dinner. Plan to take her in a beautiful place where you can spend wonderful moments. For example: the short breaks sets as a perfect romantic gift idea. The distinguished features of this short break let you enjoy savour lunch or dinner on a majestic cruise over the famous river Thames. Both of you can dine meal made by the expert chefs and enjoy the views of the fascinating London attractions. This valentine gift is sure to make the moments last forever.If you want to express your feeling for the first time to a lady then valentine gifts are ideal. A valentine gift is imaginative and rich in design that gives you the best scope to express your feelings or win a lady’s heart. The assortment of Valentine’s Day gifts consists of both traditional and contemporary gift ideas. You can even find gift items that give you the privilege to personalise the recipient’s name on it or imprint your personal message. You can mark words of appreciation on the gift such as: ”My dear beloved”, “Just for You” likewise to make it more attractive. Message in a Bottle or Teddy in a Tin are such loyal messengers that carry your messages in a loving manner. Both the gifts are displayed in an elegant way. You can make the recipient feel elevated and how important they are in your life. Valentine gifts carry symbolic significance and reflect the promises of a happy love life. If you are still confused what to pick for your beloved then take into account the recipient likes. With the inflation hitting our lives that best way to obtain a gift at competitive rate is by comparing the different offers and features of the gift ideas. But if you have made up your mind to surprise her with an exceptional and high quality gift then never forget that “quality never comes cheap”.
Article Source: http://www.articlewarehouse.com

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Relationship Counseling Therapy for Troubled Teens

Relationship counseling as a discrete, professional service is a recent phenomenon. Until the late 20th century, the work of relationship counseling was informally fulfilled by close friends, family members, or local religious leaders. Psychiatrists, psychologists, counselors and social workers have historically dealt primarily with individual psychological problems. In many less technologically advanced cultures around the world today, the institution of family, the village or group elders fulfill the work of relationship counseling. With increasing modernization or westernization in many parts of the world and the continuous shift towards isolated nuclear families, the old support structures are no longer there and the need for relationship counseling is greater than ever. Before the relationships between the individuals can begin to be understood, it is important for all to recognize and acknowledge that everyone involved has a unique personality and background. Sometimes the individuals in the relationship adhere to different value systems. Institutional and societal variables (like the social, religious, group and other collective factors) which shape a person's nature, and behavior must be recognized. A tenet of “relationship counseling” is that:It is intrinsically beneficial for all the participants to interact with each other and with society at large with the least conflict possible. Some say the only viable solution to the problem of setting these relationships back on track is to reorient the individuals' perceptions - how one looks at or responds to situations. wilderness therapy is the perfect environment to be able to reflect and respond to present situations. This implies that they make some fundamental changes in their attitudes and actions The next step is to adopt conscious structural changes to their inter-personal relationships.The duty and function of a relationship counselor is to listen, understand and facilitate a better understanding between those involved. The basic principles involved are:# Non-judgment on any of the issues or incidents narrated to them as counselor. # Confidentiality of the persons being given the counseling. A successful counselor is someone who has a mature and balanced state of mind and disposition, who can place themselves in the shoes of those they are counseling, and the ability to respect their opinions, thoughts, feelings and (more importantly) emotions.
Relationship counseling as a discrete, professional service is a recent phenomenon. Until the late 20th century, the work of relationship counseling was informally fulfilled by close friends, family members, or local religious leaders. Psychiatrists, psychologists, counselors and social workers have historically dealt primarily with individual psychological problems. In many less technologically advanced cultures around the world today, the institution of family, the village or group elders fulfill the work of relationship counseling. With increasing modernization or westernization in many parts of the world and the continuous shift towards isolated nuclear families, the old support structures are no longer there and the need for relationship counseling is greater than ever. Before the relationships between the individuals can begin to be understood, it is important for all to recognize and acknowledge that everyone involved has a unique personality and background. Sometimes the individuals in the relationship adhere to different value systems. Institutional and societal variables (like the social, religious, group and other collective factors) which shape a person's nature, and behavior must be recognized. A tenet of “relationship counseling” is that:It is intrinsically beneficial for all the participants to interact with each other and with society at large with the least conflict possible. Some say the only viable solution to the problem of setting these relationships back on track is to reorient the individuals' perceptions - how one looks at or responds to situations. wilderness therapy is the perfect environment to be able to reflect and respond to present situations. This implies that they make some fundamental changes in their attitudes and actions The next step is to adopt conscious structural changes to their inter-personal relationships.The duty and function of a relationship counselor is to listen, understand and facilitate a better understanding between those involved. The basic principles involved are:# Non-judgment on any of the issues or incidents narrated to them as counselor. # Confidentiality of the persons being given the counseling. A successful counselor is someone who has a mature and balanced state of mind and disposition, who can place themselves in the shoes of those they are counseling, and the ability to respect their opinions, thoughts, feelings and (more importantly) emotions.
Article Source: http://www.articlewarehouse.com

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Watch Your Relationships!

This should be read by kids and parents together.

Young children are known to be pretty horrid to each other. I have heard some of the meanest things in playgrounds! Teenagers go through a lot as far as relationships go. Everybody knows it and everybody goes through it or has gone through it, so it's no big deal. We know, as adults, that we get over it eventually. Still, sometimes, it really hurts and teenage hormones may lead to unexpected reactions. Children and teenagers don't always have the maturity to put things into perspective yet.

Discovering new feelings is disturbing. There is more and more social pressure in schools to be a certain way and part of the "in" crowd. But the "in" crowd is not the right one for every child. When facing a difficult social situation, when you try to adjust pretending to be someone else to fit in, or when you find yourself left out because you won't settle for certain rules, it creates a world of new emotions that have to be faced.

Coming from the children world where, granted, kids can indeed be mean to one another, but where things are also easily forgotten, the teenage world is a bit tougher because things affect kids in a different way. To avoid pain, embarrassment and shame, many teenagers forget who they are and follow the herd. For them, it is better to have bad friends than no friends at all and they take the consequences. Even though in reality, there are always other friends but to them, it feels like there aren't any or they are not worth giving up the status they have acquired.

As teenagers, you have to stay aware of who you are and understand your value. This is a very hard thing to do for some people. The pressure of so-called friends may drag you down. You must stick with the friends who get the best out of you. I am talking about friendships AND more involved relationships.

It is a very hard concept to grasp for kids and teenagers alike. I can't tell you how many 14-year-olds I have had to console when their best friend decided to "dump" them after some bitter fight over silliness. Of course, for them, it is not silly. A first experience of back-stabbing is not pleasant. What teenagers often don't see is that they don't need people like that in their lives. And yet they fall out and love each other again over and over.

I always ask kids what those friends bring to their lives. Any relationship is an exchange. To put it very simply: What I do makes you happy and what you do makes me happy. I grow thanks to your influence and vice versa. My life gets richer because you are in it and so does yours because I am in it. Teenagers have to be reminded constantly of this. Some are stronger than others or more mature and will be able to be burnt once and then understand and move on to greener pastures, but others take longer or, in worst cases, really fall into the trap.

I am not saying that there are good kids and bad kids. There are simply different people, with different values, different backgrounds, different histories, cultures, ideas, opinions, etc. who do not necessarily function well with just everybody. In the formative teenage years, you haven't always completely defined yourself and influences can take you far from who you really are.

Boys and girls take the same risks. Girls will cry and scream more and boys will punch and kick more but the result is the same. Kids have to learn as soon as possible to surround themselves with people who add to their lives and only produce positive emotions. They also have to learn that they have to do the same if they want good relationships. Little upsets are always likely to happen in a relationship but that's normal and doesn't have a long lasting result. But if you see your kids mad, hurt, disappointed on a regular basis, look into it, don't just let it be thinking it's only teenage stuff. Self-esteem at that age is too important.

The key to remember is: What you give is what you get. Never lower yourself to someone else's level. Be your true, honest, friendly, generous, genuine and happy self and you will only attract like-minded people.

Florence Bernard advises parents to become better educators with some insider's information gathered along her 17 years in education. Her book, Better At School, the Essential Guide to help Kids Improve at School describes simple methods to achieve kids' best potential. Discover it and more great tips on http://www.betteratschool.com
For extra information: fbernard@betteratschool.com

A Helpful Guide to Office Romance

Office romance is a subject that usually sparks a lot of debate. One thing that people agree on is that office romance is pretty common in many offices. This should not be a surprise at all. The office is the place that we spend most of our time and, it is only natural for people to know each other in a more intimate way. This automatically leads to an attraction which can best be described on the lines of romance. Romance is something that all people who are breathing are capable of and more so, people working closely together. The question that comes up on romance in the office is whether it is right or wrong. There are very many companies which have had policies that bar employees from dating each other. However, some of these rules are becoming of the past as society becomes more liberal. There are very many people who have found spouses in the work place. Therefore, the office is a very safe environment in which you can meet a better half. However, there are very many downsides as well as upsides when it comes to this kind of romance.

Some of the advantages of office romance have been found to be as follows. First, when people love their co workers and colleagues, they will look forward to go to work. Therefore, in many ways, the morale and motivation to come to work will be improved. Also, since there is a deeper connection, there will be a lot less arguments compared to offices where love is not present. Office romance is not perfect and often, there will be breakups. This means that the drama will be brought to the office. This can affect the productivity of employees and can also lead to loss of good workers. If people fall in love and marry, there will be good employees lost also because one partner will decide to quit and raise the children. Life is full of challenges and love in the office is no exception.

When you are a worker in an office, it therefore becomes very necessary for you to have the relevant information that is going to enable you sail above the drama. You need to know some of the rules of office romance. The first rule is that you should not be naive. This means that even if you identify someone to love, do not love foolishly. Find a way to always maintain your dignity and maturity while admiring someone. Make sure that you touch with wisdom. This is because there are many harassment lawsuits filled every year. You do not want to have a suit on your head. Therefore, when you are not sure, keep your hands to yourself. Another rule that you might find very helpful is never to let your emotions guide you at work. You cannot trust yourself to make proper judgment at work, when you are dealing with someone you love. If you do not want to loose your livelihood; be focused. When you really fall in love, just follow your heart.

Francis K. Githinji Is An Online Dating Expert. His Latest Project Free Online Dating Service Shows How The Power Of Online Dating Can Be Harnessed Internationally and With Great Success, Or You Could Post Your Valued Comments On His Blog At Dating And Relationships Magazine

Have You Made the Connection About Connection?

Life at its most basic level is about relationships...about connection. And the quality of one's life is fundamentally shaped by the quality of one's connections. The quality of one's connections, in turn, is determined by one's own relationship skills and qualities and those with whom he or she chooses to connect. Life at its core is really that simple and fortunate is the person who makes the "connection" about connection.

Of course this is not to suggest that life is simple because it's not. It is really quite complicated. But the idea above, the one that reduces life to connection, is really not that hard to appreciate. For centuries writers, poets, and musicians have lauded the virtues of connection in all of its shades and hues. Today social scientists use the term "attachment" to discuss connection but the subject matter is still the same. Connection, in all its various forms, is the thread that weaves together the tapestry of human history all the while infusing it with tremendous potential.

By making the claim above I am mindful that the thoughtful reader will likely be put off by such a sweeping assertion. Certainly many objections to this claim can be raised and should be acknowledged. Surely the quality of one's life is determined by many things outsides the bounds of the narrow discussion of connection. The quality of a blind person's life is surely limited by merely being blind isn't it? Or doesn't the suffering experienced by those living in extreme poverty mediate the quality of their existence? Well, if by diminished "quality" you mean to say that life is more difficult for people facing any of the myriad sufferings that this world has to offer, then the answer would certainly be "yes."

But what we must remember is that the sufferings of this life are not optional for any of us...they are a given. Everyone suffers at different times and for different reasons. And severe suffering can cause even the most well-adjusted among us to experience times where we wonder if life is even worth living. But the quality of our lives is not necessarily determined by the presence or absence of difficulties. What we in fact discover, if we are fortunate enough to experience meaningful and healthy relationships, is that the sufferings of this life are mediated and the joys magnified by the quality of our connections. Ultimately, it is our connections, our relationships, that help to enhance the quality or contentment or happiness that we experience in life.

Now to acknowledge the simple truth above and better yet to determine that we are going to cultivate our relationships is a good thing...a simple decision. But to live out that decision, as we all know, is not so simple. In fact it may be one of the most complicated and challenging things that we will ever do. But the rewards are more than worth it for those who are brave enough to renew their commitment to their relational world.

New idea? Not really. Under appreciated? Most assuredly. Let me invite you to recommit to forming and nurturing meaningful and healthy connections in your life. Become a student of relationships and what makes them work. And set goals for self-improvement that include identifying and working on your own relationship weak spots. The benefits will be well worth it.

"If you want to go quickly, go alone. If you want to go far, go together"

African Proverb

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his

friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!

Eccl. 4:9-10

Asa R. Sphar III, Ph.D., LPC, LMFT
http://www.counselingservicesofaustin.com

Asa R. Sphar III, Ph.D., LPC, LMFT
Professor / Chair, Psychology and Counseling Department - NOBTS (1993 - 2007)
Author: Helping Hurting People: Reconciliation-Focused Counseling
Director: Counseling Services of Austin, LLC
http://www.counselingservicesofaustin.com

Reconciliation-focused therapy has been taught to literally hundreds of graduate counseling students over a period of 10 years and it continues to be developed and refined through rigorous empirical investigations. In 2002 the first book on reconciliation-focused counseling was published. Subsequently, three attachment scales were designed that serve to objectively measure the quality of a person's attachments across three relational domains. These instruments serve to guide therapists in their approach to the counseling task. To date, these attachment scales have been the subject of empirical investigation by two doctoral dissertations. In 2002, RFC was presented to the International Conference of the Christian Association for Psychological Studies.

Saturday, January 3, 2009

Paradise Lost - Looking to Find Love Again After a Breakup Or Affair

If you've had a break-up, you're probably either trying to figure out how to get over the person, or how to win back lost love. Neither is very easy, but most people fall to one or the other, with only very few able to move on quickly without pining or wishing things could be different. You should really think hard about the relationship and your ex before you do anything. Think about how things were and how they will be now. Try to be as unbiased as you can. You might decide that the break-up really isn't a bad idea.

If you decide to try to win back lost love, the first step is to apologize. You might think you've done this. You might have said you were sorry several times. But if your ex thought you were apologizing just to stop a break-up, he or she might not think the apology was sincere.

If you were the one who did something that you need to apologize for, apologize again. Now they might think the apology is sincere, because nothing hinges on it. If the relationship has ended, you won't be saying it only to save it but they will believe that you really mean it. (And hopefully, you do.)

When your ex was the one who did something worth apologizing for, then rather than try to get a sincere apology from them, forgive them. You may never forget, especially if your break-up was because of cheating, but you must learn to forgive. Forgiving is much harder for some of us than merely saying, "I forgive you," though, so you might want to read a book or two on forgiveness and how to really mean it. If you want to win back lost love, this step will help you do it. And it can help prevent problems in the future, too.

If you do succeed and you win back lost love, 3 or 6 or 9 months into the newly patched relationship, old issues might come up. If you haven't forgiven the person for whatever was done to break up the relationship, then you might have a hard time getting past everything. Old wounds would be reopened and it's likely that hurtful things would be said.

But if you can truly forgive the person, then there won't be any need to rehash the past. While you're working on forgiving him or her for whatever happened to cause the break up, forgive them for the break up itself and you'll save yourself lots of grief down the road.

Also, to win back lost love, show the person the "you" they fell in love with, not the "you" that has been dumped. They were with you because you have certain qualities-kindness, thoughtfulness-not because you're angry, jealous or hurt. While you might not be able to hide the hurt, concentrate on being the best "you" you can possibly be and you may win back lost love by reminding them why they loved you in the first place.

This author is happily married and wants you to find the same love and happiness for your life as well.

If you feel like your relationships need a little extra "magic", visit this blog for some practical advice.

Have something valuable to say?

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